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 Scottish Water have been digging up our road again. It’s part of a £4 million project to overhaul the town’s water supply, which means replacing some 15 km of water mains. (They started last year, but had to stop when the war in Ukraine caused a worldwide bitumen shortage.) So far they’ve mostly dug a lot of holes, some of which go down a surprisingly long way. At least I assume they’re specially-dug holes: given the state of the roads up here they could just be potholes the water board has coned off and pretended were deliberate.
 The Trinkie gets its annual overhaul It reminds me of the Lord of the Rings movies, when Saruman warns Gandalf: “You fear to go into that street. Scottish Water delved too greedily and too deep. You know what they awoke in the darkness of Miller Avenue… shadow and flame. Well, I say flame; it’s mostly water, of course, or possibly gas. But there’s definitely shadows, especially at night.” It’s all a little disconcerting. The other day I was passing one of the holes and I could’ve sworn I heard a voice from below exclaim “Ai! Ai! A Balrog!”
 Reiss Beach I wouldn’t mind, but I had to ask one of the workmen to move his digger so I could get to work, only for him to cry “You cannot pass! I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the flame of Anor. You cannot pass!” (“Drama wizard”, I thought.) They’re going to turn our water off for a couple of days this week, but since the internet tells me that’s one day less than a person can survive without water I reckon we should be fine.
 Finally this week, thanks for all the good wishes when I was taken ill the other day. I’m delighted to say that the swelling in my elbow’s mostly gone, in fact it might be wholly gone and what’s left is just how my elbow looks anyway – elbows being one of those things I’ve never really paid much attention to, like cosines or the name of the Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster. Even more excitingly, the assorted drugs seem to be clearing up my chesty cough, and for the first time in months my breathing no longer resembles Darth Vader sucking up the last drops of his milkshake through a straw. The treatment still has another month to run, but already I feel like a new man (I wonder where I can get one at this time of night, ahaha). Meanwhile I shall keep taking the tablets, assuming the water supply holds out, and keep knitting, about which I’ll say more next week. But thank you once again for all the good wishes.
 “Oh! on Coronation Day, on Coronation Day/ We’ll have a spree, a jubilee/ And shout Hip Hip Hooray…” No, that’s not from the book of Ecclesiastes, as you might expect, but instead it’s a music hall song from 1901. And we’ve been singing it on repeat here at Reid Towers to celebrate the coronation of His Majesty King Charles III. I was something of a republican in my youth, but as I’ve grown older, I’ve come to understand the real purpose of an event like this: it’s a chance for the country to just feel good about itself for a day, regardless of politics, colour, or creed. It’s a sort of national birthday party.
 Scurvy Grass The coronation to beat was, of course, that of William the Conqueror, which took place on Christmas Day, 1066. William had posted Norman guards outside Westminster Abbey in case of trouble from the natives. When these guards heard the shouts of Vivat! (“long life!”) coming from inside they assumed they were being attacked and responded, in a custom that is still honoured in France to this day, by setting fire to nearby houses. It’s in moments like this that the true English character comes to the fore. As the Norman chronicler Orderic Vitalis recorded, “Nearly everyone else ran towards the raging fire, some to fight bravely against the force of the flames, but more hoping to grab loot for themselves”. So proud.
 Rhythm in Foam As for King Charles’s coronation, these are the sorts of things Britain still does rather well: a ritual that feels like it dates from medieval times (and not the 1950s, when most of it was invented), a sort of comfortable, faded, down-at-heel, yet curiously moving touch of mystery and grandeur, a splash of fancy dress, and some frankly outstanding hair-on-the-back-of-the-neck-raising music. At least this time it was raining, which fortunately stopped Charles’s Norman guards setting fire to anything.
Fulmar in flight The Coronation Day song would probably be forgotten now, but James Joyce has Buck Mulligan sing it mockingly—“out of tune with a Cockney accent”—in the first chapter of Ulysses. “O, won’t we have a merry time/ Drinking whisky, beer and wine/ Or in my case ginger tea to help with the nausea from the antibiotics/ On Coronation/ Coronation Day?” The answer is, yes: yes, we will.
 All in all, I suppose, it could have been worse. I survived my week of antibiotics (the bucket unused) and watched the swelling in my elbow diminish from the size of a tennis ball to a crab apple, then a golf ball, and finally to something resembling a rather squishy marble. There’s another swelling beside it on my forearm; but as this one is rock hard and still quite tender, I’m giving it a wary wide berth, like someone faced with a sleepy cat: start poking it and who knows how many fingers you’ll have left?
 Gorse at the path’s end Meanwhile, in other news, the hospital consultant I’ve been seeing for the growth on my vocal cords and my cough is exploring the hypothesis that I’ve got an infected sinus and chest (to go with the elbow infection on the “buy one, get two free” principle). It’s a curious twist on Groundhog Day—if a hospital consultant emerges from her burrow and sees a shadow on a scan, you get six more weeks of antibiotics.
 Marsh marigolds I also have six weeks’ worth of nasal drops to take, which makes me wish I hadn’t given up yoga thirty years ago. You see, the instructions say to stand upright, then bend over so your head is completely upside down, and start squirting, remaining in that position for at least a minute. Alas, as about the furthest I can bend these days is about at the level of a respectful Japanese bow, this is as impractical as most of the illustrations in the Kama Sutra, leaving me to wonder if there hasn’t been a mix-up at the printers’. So instead I recline on the bed with my head dangling over the edge, laboriously counting to 60, and wonder, like Theoden in The Lord of the Rings when he had to take his nose drops, how did it come to this…?
 Two Swans a-swimming TECHNICAL STUFF
This is a classic Flamborough pattern, one of the best, and a favourite of mine, which is probably why I’ve knitted it so many times. The cables and the long lines flanking the moss stich panels always remind me of gothic architecture, those long, slender columns supporting seemingly weightless arches. It’s for a work colleague, and is in Frangipani Claret yarn, a deep, rich shade the colour of, well, claret. This time I’ve decided to break the cable pattern over the fake seam stitches, i.e., with half the cable pattern either side of the fake seams.
 “So,” the doctor said, reading from her computer screen, “it says here you’re allergic to penicillin.” She looked at me thoughtfully. “Now, when it says allergic…?” “Red spots from the nave to the chaps,” I said, “human sacrifice! Dogs and cats living together! Mass hysteria!” “Ah.” The doctor consulted her screen again. “Well, luckily there’s another medication that will deal with the problem, so let’s just see… Ah. This one’s also got a red flag next to your name, and a note.” “What’s it say?” I asked, though I had a pretty good idea. She smiled encouragingly: “Extreme nausea.”
 Fog drifts at the harbour Which goes some way to explaining why I’m writing this on my phone, flat on my back, with a small bucket discreetly positioned under my bed. For some weeks now I’ve been aware that my left elbow was sore when I leaned on it – is ‘Zoom elbow’ a recognised medical condition yet? – but on Thursday last week matters escalated. It swelled up and became puffy and inflamed, so that it now looks like the elbow is encased in a large, distinctly overripe plum, and rather sore. The infection, for infection it is, seems to have spread several inches down my forearm, and up towards what I optimistically call my bicep, even if it more closely resembles a lump of soft cheese being strained through a muslin cloth.
Croaking Raven The doctor very considerately prescribed a side dish of anti-nausea pills to go with the main course – the name of which escapes me, but it’s something like dioxyacetylene – and so far the bucket under the bed has thankfully remained dry. Though I’ve had some mauvais quarts d’heure lying on my back breathing slowly, or hunched over the sink trying to think happy thoughts. It’s too early for the swelling to’ve gone down yet, but despite all the surface wooziness I think I actually feel better underneath than I have in a while; as if the antibiotics are killing off more than just an elbow infection. Of course, I could be imagining it; but I can’t help thinking this is what a pint of milk must feel like when it gets pasteurised.
 The Gorse at Helmsdale I’ve not done a lot of knitting this last week, for obvious reasons, but it was still enough to finish another project. These days I tend to have two ganseys on the go at any one time, a main one which I blog about, and another, usually of a contrasting pattern, for light relief. Both this one and its predecessor are for two of the ladies who volunteer with me at Wick Museum, and they chose them from the selection of my ganseys on display there: I hope to hand them over this coming Saturday. It’s the classic Matt Cammish pattern from Gladys Thompson’s book in Frangipani pewter, one of the all-time great patterns, just a perfect combination, and the Frangipani yarn really shows it up nicely. And now it’s on to the next project, or it will be once I get through the next few days. (You think all this is bad? It’s actually worse: you see, I’ve realised that you can sing, “I’m dreaming of a dry bucket” to the tune of White Christmas, and now I can’t get the damn thing out of my head…)
 The coast of Caithness is dotted with little harbours, many of them ruined and abandoned now, or else on life support, home to maybe a solitary boat or two fishing for lobster. Yet once they were a base for whole fleets of fishing boats, and great three-masted schooners, that in photographs look like something the Flying Dutchman would choose for a round-the-world cruise, would be tied up at the quays, unloading timber and salt and filling their holds with barrels of packed salted herring for the markets in Germany and Russia.
 Staxigoe, a mile or so north of Wick, is one such. The name derives from the Old Norse world for an inlet, geo, plus stakkr, or stack for the great lump of rock jutting up like the last tooth in a gum that’s seen better days; so, “inlet of the stack”. The Caithness fishing industry began here, when in 1767 three local men fitted out a couple of boats to fish for herring. Within a few decades there were 50 boats fishing out of Staxigoe, and it was the largest curing station in the area.
But boom leads to bust as chocolate Easter eggs lead to the dentist, and the fitting out of Wick as a purpose-built herring port (especially as the boats grew larger, with a deeper draft) killed off Staxigoe as a going concern. If you’re sensitive to atmosphere it’s laden with meaning, and everywhere you turn you brush up against the ghosts of ghosts. If not, – and while we were there a car pulled up, obviously tourists, who stayed for as long as it takes to say “is this it?” and drove off again – not…
 The fountain, Wick PARISH NOTICES
First of all, the great reveal as my gansey project is finally finished. Washing and blocking is essential with these garments, and especially ones with such extended ribbing: so now it expands, like a wilted flower after spring rain, and we can see it whole and entire. Will it fit? I’ll find out in a week or two.
And finally this week, we have another cracking gansey in chocolate brown from Sigrid in Germany. I’ll let her describe it in her own words:
 Sun & Shadow near Wick Harbour “I got the pattern ideas from the German edition of “Ganseys” (original: The Gansey Knitting Sourcebook) by Di Gilpin and Sheila Greenwell: Eriskay Lifetree and Diamond, combined with Scottish flags with mock braids (Fraserburgh, Aberdeenshire) and tiny heapies at the ends of the sleeves. I have to admit that I already had the body from a cardigan I had ribbed up – it had to become a gansey ;)). That’s why the yoke and gussets are a bit shorter, but I still like the final product.”
Many congratulations to Sigrid, and many thanks to her, and to all who have been so generous by sending us pictures of their finished ganseys, for sharing.
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Scottish Water have been digging up our road again. It’s part of a £4 million project to overhaul the town’s water supply, which means replacing some 15 km of water mains. (They started last year, but had to stop when the war in Ukraine caused a worldwide bitumen shortage.) So far they’ve mostly dug a lot of holes, some of which go down a surprisingly long way. At least I assume they’re specially-dug holes: given the state of the roads up here they could just be potholes the water board has coned off and pretended were deliberate.
Finally this week, thanks for all the good wishes when I was taken ill the other day. I’m delighted to say that the swelling in my elbow’s mostly gone, in fact it might be wholly gone and what’s left is just how my elbow looks anyway – elbows being one of those things I’ve never really paid much attention to, like cosines or the name of the Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster. Even more excitingly, the assorted drugs seem to be clearing up my chesty cough, and for the first time in months my breathing no longer resembles Darth Vader sucking up the last drops of his milkshake through a straw. The treatment still has another month to run, but already I feel like a new man (I wonder where I can get one at this time of night, ahaha). Meanwhile I shall keep taking the tablets, assuming the water supply holds out, and keep knitting, about which I’ll say more next week. But thank you once again for all the good wishes.
